Just Another Random Idiot

The one sentence update

2011-08-18T10:25:00.001-07:00

Relationships seem to complicated for me to understand, but i hope it won't get me killed.

Random updates and The rest

2011-08-14T12:36:00.001-07:00

Before i begin, a few updates:
1. I got a haircut
2. I started college
3. it's 3.38 in the morning and i gotta get ready in 2-3 hours
4. You have just been updated
aaaand 5. started playing runescapes (again).

Now back to the random idiots anything but daily nonsense.

Boo... joking, i'm just bored a bit cause i got so many things to write about to the extent i just don't want to write about it at all. You feelin me? I just don't seem to get into the mood, the spirit of writing these random, but apparently clever, thoughts i..uhh..what's the word?......imagine? No no no...ummm.... ahhhh.. damn, lost it... DEVELOPED!! CREATED!!..... well something like that.

That random quotes or paragraphs is just like getting the perfect "snap" sound after practicing snapping for a certain period of time. Sometimes it gets that nice "SNAP" sound that you know sounds right.. AAAnnd sometimes it's those snaps that just feels weak.. you get wat i mean?

At this moment, today, this moment (wait, repeated myself there), i'm just not feeling it. I know i know, i'm not disappointing anyone, it's not like you guys follow this blog or something.. I mean look at the title of this blog!? JUST ANOTHER RANDOM IDIOT? What does that even mean!? Is that some sort of message pointing out to other bloggers that those bloggers are idiots as well? Is this blog trying to suggest that blogging is for idiots?

What do you guys thnk? And i'm pretty sure the "you guys" i'm talking about are me friends who sometimes just drop by me blog for a certain update of what they've just updated on.... ok, that didn't even completely sound write. Even in my head as i'm typing this right now doesn't sound right.... Why the hell did i choose now to type my blog? GOD i'm not thinking straight.

so, yeah...Idiot here signing off i guess..

P.s
Hopefully, a certain "someone" (yeah i'm talking about myself) in the right mind, would plan on deleting post. BUT, knowing that "someone" (still talking about myself), that person is gonna keep it here so that "person" (this actually refers to anyone...screw it, EVERYONE who reads this blog, including meself) will see this embarrassment of a post to see the side that "person" (....now i just don't care anymore) don't show cause he's too damn quiet about IT (woohoo, used the right "quiet" this time instead of typing "quite")....

p.p.s
it's now 4am and i still haven't slept yet... dear god...

p.p.P.s (woohoo, extra "p")
I know i'm actually ranting about my own blog and i'm the one who wrote down the blog's name and shit...soo yeah, i get that i'm thrashing me own trash..soooo yeah... cool? cool cool cool....

The Fool and Time

2011-07-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

I think back to the time when life was simple. White would always stay white and black is always black. I look up to the sky and just see, well, the sky. I feel the breeze and think its cold. I look at fire and stay away from it. I see crows and thought they were noisy (well, i still do). I thought girls were icky and boys rule (i still think boys do, but not so much about the former now). I thought the color blue was sign for good and red for evil. But time made sure my thinking change. Not that i changed much. I still think white is still white and black is still black. I now just see more of what the colors appear to me. What it means. Time made sure i get out of my comfortable shell to see the world in a new perspective. And i thank time and experience for that. I'm no more the kid who just knows nothing. I am a fool who knows he knows nothing. And i will remain so. That is not to say won't learn as the years go by. But Knowing nothing only lets you see the endless lessons of everything.

I think back to those times. I was small. Life was simple. And i thank time for making it simple.

Doubt

2011-03-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

GOOOD NEWS PEOPLE!!!
The last post is not the "last" post! That's right, i'm back, but i 'm worried about something.. something deep inside that i know i cannot hide... something is wrong... i feel cold... is this...loneliness?

If it is, SHiT, im pathetic.. i even felt stupid talkin to friends i don't normally talk to? Have i forgotten who i am or am i just showing another side of me? SHIT SHIT SHIT STHI SHIT SHIT SHTI SHIT STHI SSITHSHTHSITHISHTSHITHSSHIHTSHITSHTISHTISHTSISHITSTHISTHISHITSHITSHITSHITSHTISHTISHTISHTSHITSHIT!!!!!

IM LOSING MYSELF!! NO, im just takin a little break
STFU!! I KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!
ugh, god, ths is annoying... im really annoyed... wat the hell is annoyin me? do i know? SHould i have known? is it me? ugh... the sound of my head throbbing, the doubt in my heart growing....this is not good... i gotta let it out.. if not sooner, than later, if not later, who knows wat will happen! I might change for the worse OR the better, but i change too much, i might looose me! I need something... an anchor or not... maybe it's just something all of us goes through...hmmm....my mind... unrest... complication.... it doesn't make sense... doesn't make sense at all... wat is sense in the first place? What is it? What the hell am i spouting? Nonsense? quotes?

god, this sounds so pathetic.. i need light.. i need warmth... i need life.....

and then there's 5

2011-02-05T06:12:00.000-08:00

Name:Foo Li Ann
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Relationship:Friend, Close Friend...and Crush..
Relationship status...? i don't know, she says she's not goin out with anyone but others say she is.. that just means she is... ok... now it begins..

Ok, remember how i kept on continuously mention about the 5 crushes in my life and how i went through each of them.. and remember how i was always saying that i was gonna tell u guys about it.. well, here is the last one... and if i still have more to say, this could might as well be my last one, but who knows for sure...

Foo Li Ann, i mostly don't call her through that name... why? I don't feel comfortable..reason being..i just don't...alright alright, i just don't feel right calling her by her name.. weird right? I know, i don't get it either. So what do i call her? Well, i don't keep track of the names i call her but i do remember some. There's Geena (her name she used during her days playing Ragnarok..her dark days, but she made plenty of friends, so i heard), i call her Girl, Sticks, Legs, Chopstick (not sure she remember this one, it was like a year ago), women, as well as pet names like Love (just started recently due to the influence of the series Lie To Me when the main character calls some people, mostly girls, love), hon, and other normal ones like dude, guy, man, mac... yeah, it's weird, but i don't feel right callin her name..

Now enough about what i call her.. now is the real thing.
I met her durin my second year in Sri Garden. I was awkward around everyone and i still don't trust no one... I still felt like i was the new boy around school. Eventually i befriended with these two cousins and followed one of them to her boyfriend's class every morning b4 school starts.. And there is where it all began. How i met her is still a blur to me. She said that she knows me during our trip to melaka, and i knew her before that trip, but i met her during one of the meetings with Lara's (my "lil' sis" and one of the cousins i befriended during form 1) boyfriend, who is currently one of my friends as well. We started to get to know each other by form 2, when we were both in the same class. Including were my bro, Wai Yu, and an awesome lad my the name of Jason, Jace for short. The Checker Chick days.. the reason behind that name was because of Liann's winged checkered heart design.. it was fun.. Form 2 was the best of my years.. 3 awesome best friends, cool school life.. it felt like the first time i started to live.. it felt right.. that was until..well...the split..

Form 3, all of us we assigned to different classes cept for me and Liann (lucky!). I was sad, but at least i was with someone i know. This was the year i met Amira... fell for her and apparently Liann's best friend... she won't admit it but deep down she really is her best friend.. so starts my heartbreak days and then starts the split.. It was on Jace's birthday and we all planned to go out to watch a movie. It was me, Lara, Wai Yu, Liann, Liyana, Ben (Liyana's bf) and Jace, who came a bit too late cause we didn't have enough seats. So instead of ditching the movie, she let hers go and just wandered off...but followin her were Lara n Wai Yu, who eventually became a couple that day... the group split into two and that was the sign our group...started to split..

Weeks later, something happened... Jace stopped hangin out with us.. I thought it was because he was hangin out with Hanif's group.. but it was more than that.. Apparently there was a slight argument amongst Liann, Wai Yu and Jace... it was some sort of love triangle or sumtin like that... i dunno... i never knew about it till the time we all went to our hiding place. We met Jace there alone and he didn't talk to us...well, to them... i wasn't part of the fight.. Eventually, we all grew apart..

By form 4, it was already clear... we had our own group to hang with.. Jace was with Hanif's group, Wai Yu got his own group as well.. all that was left in Checker Chicks were Liann and myself... eventually we had a fight amongst each other as well and we didn't talk to each other for 3 days or somethin like that...

Now what was the outcome of that fight? Well, it just started with me having a bright idea to look for Liann's house...why? I have no fuckin clue.. So off i was, lookin for Liann's house, but i didn't end up findin it.. But then i lied to liann sayin that i was outside her out but went back cause i was nervous to go inside (i might have left that last part out) which led to the big question...Do i like her..and i did not know how to answer that...but i did..for a long time, i like her...

Everytime i see her, my heart skips a beat, my day seems brighter, i couldn't wait to see her at school everyday.. add any cheesy lines and creepy/stalker quotes.. i was head over heels for her..and that was the problem...which sucks a lot...

I know it all to well.. I'm not a man in her eyes.. no, i'm her friend.. the "friend" that is there for her at certain times and was always hangin out with her.. i wasn't a man in her eyes..i was her "Bud"... it sucked i knew well it was stupid of me to have fallen in love (yes, i said love..or typed more like it) with her in the beginning.. Why? Because she already had eyes for another..

Form 5, group dispersed completely..but even when we are all not together, me and her, still the same class, the good friends.. close friends... i guess who we started hangin out with? HER Crush and his gang... who was that gang? Hanif's gang.. that's right, 3/4 of the Checker Chicks were all on the same group...I thought there was still hope for our group, but no... it never came... Checker Chicks was gone and all we have left were our memories..

Soon after, i started to understand that i shouldn't hang out with her.. i should just leave her alone... but NOOOO, i just have to stay with her. I just hafta... Eventually i couldn't handled it anymore and just let out...through skype..or was it fbchat... but then she knew and in a way, let me down easy.. now you might be thinkin, now that that's done, i could go on with my life with this burden off my chest.. i should have... but i didnt..

To this day, I, Sheikh Muhamad Azriq (OMG! My REAL NAME IS OUT!!) is still in love with Foo Liann, Close Friend and Comrade of the AC trilogy...as well as COD: Modern Warfare and such..

I told you it was complicated love... well, here ya go..
Thanks for being my friend and im sorry that i still have feelings for ya.. I love you as a friend as well as a man to a women... so yeah, I am REALLY SORRRY (no sarcasm added).. I don't like ur boyfriend, i enjoy your company and best of luck to you in National Service.. be safe, don't do anything stupid and always know that i'm still your friend, no matter the outcome....oh and sorry again..

HO

2011-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

Does the idled mind makes the devil's workshop or does the workshop becomes the idled mind.. why ask us to empty our minds when we could not think clearly? Why ask it to be empty and not sort it? Idled and empty? Two different words yet the meanings are not that too far off... and why is that? Does emptying ones mind means to let the devil work in it just reach clarity really worth the effort? Is an idled mind really idled? What if it is just the same as a machine's Loading? To we need to empty the mind? Does emptying the mind equals to such things as being an empty vessel? If one calls another an empty sack, should that other consider it a compliment or an insult? To call one something empty would as mean calling one which has reach a state of clarity, to be empty yet full, to be one and nothing... Does the idled mind makes the devil's workshop? Or does the mind let the workshop be formed because it is idled.. It still remains a mystery, yet the question is answered... but is the answer satisfactory?

2 in a week, im on a roll~

2010-10-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

This one is dedicated to my tanned lost lamb, Lucy Shadows, with her head spinning, trying to make a decision every girl has to go through at least once in her life...

Dear lost lamb,
Believe in what you believe in and never lost faith of it cause your mind tends to absorb any information that might ruin you "fling" and you'll start thinking to the point you couldn't grasp reality...kidding...but seriously, DON'T STOP LISTENING, But DO remember that the decision is YOURS to make and only YOU can make that decision... We, the friends, could only fill your head with thoughts u wouldn't want to hear or things that might complicate your decision... So, once you make that decision, live with the consequences and DEAL WITH IT!

That's all for now my little lamb, don't lose faith, keep your head still always remember, the outcome of your decision is INEVITABLE...

FINALLY!! It comes... the story i mean...

2010-10-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Well, It finally comes! You guys (whoever you are) have been patient with me for months now after i repeatedly say that i was gonna talk about them... WELL, I'm gonna let it out now... THE TRUTH!! THE PAIN AND THE STORY ABOUT ME ULTIMATE CRUSH (so far... who knows when i'm gonna have another one)!!!!

OK, we'll go with No.3 first since hers will be quicker..
Now, how should i start?
Ah, Here we go..
It was perhaps love at first sight....(stole this from me trial paper..never mind). Her name was Nur Amira Ibrahim(i think.. didn't payed much attention to the last part) and she was my third crush. How did we meet.. well, we were in the same class, and apparently falling for her was inevitable... even one my friends fell for her, and he was the religious one (not that it matters). So yeah... i got to know her and got comfortable with her, but i didn't act like how i would normally act like.. i was crazy for this girl to the point i actually swallowed down plastic just to impress her(didn't do shit, just made her think i was some sort of nut). Yeah, i was head over heels for her.. Till the fateful trip to Langkawi on which i heard from me friend that she was goin out with someone.... yeah, that totally just tore my heart out... I was soooooo STUPID to think i could go out with a girl like her... but i gotta try... After that, i tried confessing to her (which failed) and tried to forget her.. but that never happened till i heard she split with her boyfriend.. as soon as i heard about that, well, i felt happy, not cause she was single (and if ur reading this, i'm really sorry i was happy for ur break-up, not that i was, i was to hear about it and yeah.... I wasn't happy, that came out wrong, more like i wasn't happy for ur break-up... just i felt.. lighter.. yeah), but instantly at that moment..i just got over her.. half a month later, i met her again it felt great talking to her like a friend would..
SO that pretty much the story of mira.. besides the nicknames i always called her by (thought it was stupid and never did it again...), i left nothing out..

But now goes the story of one of my greatest, most painful crushes of all.... next time.... HAHHAHAHAHAH, THOUGHT I WOULD TELL U, WELL SUCK IT!! AHHAAHHAA... ahem.... sorry...

Story continues once the problem is sorted out.. waht problem... no fuckin idea, just know there's a problem and gotta sort it out first before me mind could write properly... anyways

ADIEU BITCHES~

Update

2010-10-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

Haven't updated in a long time and somebody kept writing someting on me chatbox... i got idea who that person is, but i might be wrong..

So just for that sake... THIS BLOG HAS BEEN UPDATED!!!!!!

HAAHHAHAHAHAA, HAPPY DAYS~

Anyways, yeah, I'll talk about Crushs No. 3 n 5.... won't be long.. now to lazy to care or some shit like that....

so...yeah..

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

3...2..1..poof! i got nothin to say

2010-07-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

I got nothing to say.. first time actually... no words... no long paragraphs.. no story... nothin.. empty.. i mean, not like i don't want to say anything.. just, there is nothing to say.. or was is "was" nothing to say?

i don't know.... i just to feel anything at the moment... i thought maybe posting this would do something... at least i'm saying something (or typing)....

so empty, yet so full.. it's like oxygen, no better yet, air in a glass... there's nothing there but at the the same time there is something... there is air.. oxygen..those small percentage of gasses and air all mixed into one small glass.. yet all u see is nothing but an empty glass...

that's is how my head feels like... i'm not sayin i'm stupid or anything like that.. i just have these invisible, shapeless thoughts, but their not concrete, so i don't have anything in my mind... but for a guy who got nothing to say, i really have a lot to say (the irony)..

first time, i think, that i felt this numb... i'm not hurt... i just don't feel anything.. weird.. I'm probably just thinking too much to the point i don't want to think anymore...

i dunno.. so empty, yet so full.. my head hurts, but it feels numb..
What is this feeling...?
3, 2, 1 and poof, i got nothng... words could express this feeling, but i got no facial emotions to show it...

Weird...

Mirror

2010-07-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself "who is this man standing in front of me", no, better yet, "who am I?"...

The question i asked myself... about myself.. i know the answer. i know what to say and why... the only thing i could never go through is how... How.. Actually, that's not the real problem.. It's not how i say, it's more like, whether i could accept it or not..

For A LOOOONG time, i've been trying to find who i am... shouldn't i be happy for who i am now? I'm teenager.. I got friends, no parents (cept me step-mom), 3 brothers and a sister, 3 uncles and 2 aunts plus 1 grandma... I like games, books (fiction and psychology) and music... I'm interested in women and i'm willing to help a friend, despite the consequences (not exactly smart)..

I got mostly everything i need... but what more is there? Even with all this information about myself, i still wake up and look at the mirror, wondering who i am.. I'm not faking anything.. I'm me all the time.. what which part of me is real? The me at school... the me at home...

I have never found anything that tells me, "This is where i should be.. This was why i was born..."

but many people have not found that either... that "feeling" is what i like to call it...

Most of the times.. i just lay awake, telling myself if i'm even alive.. but never bothered to answer.. those type of questions just hurts my head to the point of me throwing up (sorry to say)..

"Sigh" was one of the only post which showed the real me... angry.. sad.. frustrated yet grateful.. happy... glad.. All of which molded into one teenager's rambling about his friends and family..

This is all boring, i know, i would get bored of this myself.. But it just gotta get out, y'kno? You just gotta that something out before it gets the best of you... I talk a lot and i know i can, but i can't cause i won't.. my tongue, i hold, before i speak because i can't speak well.. my voice can't be heard properly (just ask my friends).. but that never stopped me from trying..

I don't know what this post is about or what i'm trying to say, but all this is just something i want to say... I might know what this post about actually, and i might know what i'm trying to say, but i don't... not at the moment.. This post's title is Mirror.. so that could only mean i'm talking about something related to a mirror.. Ask yourself, just once, Who is that person in the mirror.... and Why?

I could already predict a certain friend of mine's answer, which is "I'm me, because i am"... that girl is an independent women, at the same time she's a child.. It's a paradox, but that why i love her (as a friend, no romantic feelings involve, thank you very much.. please don't misunderstand)... but i'm no psychic, so i don't REALLY know what she would say.. just ask yourself...

Who are you? And Why?

Dead TIRED~

2010-07-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

I just came online just to say i'm gonna go offline! I've been up all NIGHT and all MORNING!!!! WHY??? u ask??? WELL, my ummm.... lust got the better of me... THAT and i had ta do THE GRUELING PROJECT THAT IS ME ART PROJECT!!!

PERCENTAGE OF COMPLETION : 65%!!

FUCK....

So, i won't have time to talk about my progress in life nor will i talk about girls No. 3 and 5.. Those just have to wait

SORRY FELLOW FOLLOWERS!! I'll make it up to you by making the updates of my life EPIC and SUPER PERSONAL!! OK?

SO, so long, farewell.. i wanna go to sleep...

NIGHT!!

P.s.
I just watched a short trailer of Despicable Me..... SO FLUFFAY~

Ginni (part 2) and numbers 2 & 4

2010-06-04T06:56:00.001-07:00

SO, continuing from where we left off..
I started liking... how did i know this... well, my heart beats fast when i'm around her, i feel nervous when i'm close to her... and i always have these weird romantic imagination that had something to do with me and her (it's not sex, i can tell you that.. wasn't horny or into any of those things at that time.. the most extreme thing would be kissing, and not the frenchy one).

But bad news struck. Somewhere near the Winter break, my dad told me the news that we were gonna leave Jakarta and move back to M'sia.....
My world instantly went upside down....
I haven't finished my school year yet.... i haven't gotten into middle school yet.... i haven't told Ginni yet....

The next day, i decided to throw a farewell party.. I invited a few friends, Ginni included...
So they all came to my house. Two of my best buds, a korean dude, an indo-mix girl and Ginni... We all played game (i lost to a girl.. she was pretty good), ate some KFC and started to play Make believe.. u kno us kids, imagination and shit... after that, everyone went away and i was left wit me two best friends...

During the Winter break, i stayed at a Hotel till we were ready to go... UNTIL my dad got news that i could stay in Indonesia... TILL I FINISHED 6th grade.... Only a year, but i couldn't careless..

After the winter break, i surprised everyone that i wasn't leaving and... yeah... happy days.... till the "that" day came...

My dad passed away and i immediately went back to m'sia on the day of the funeral.. which was the next day...

SO, that was pretty much the end of Ginni.. i don't know wat happened to her after that day.... i've lost all contact of friends.. cept for one very close friend of mine..

I was schooless for the next 3 months... then i rolled into sri garden... at June... somewhere after their holiday... That's where i met my next crush..

EVERYBODY, please give a warm welcome tooooooo...... Mimi SHAKIRA..RA...Ra...ra...

Yeah well, sue me, i liked the girl.. Now this was love at first sight for me... but quickly ended after, what, 2 to 3 months i think... i was too focus on trying to not get bullied, or just understanding the language..

ok, lets review... my first crush was a girl named Ginni.... a red-head.. american? canadian? well, all i know she was a red-head with freckles and braces.... but i liked her..
the 2nd one would be MIMI SHAKIRA~ she was hot and i fell for her... end of story..

I'll skip the third for now, cause it's a loooong story, so yeah..
The forth however..... WAS MISS MILEY CYRUS~ i mentioned it in my blog a loooooongg time ago... fell for her through tv.... was AWESOME~ but she had a bf who, and i quote, MIGHT BE THE "ONE"... ah well, too bad..
Now, i just feel like i wanna go jamming with her... u kno, guitar to guitar, she sings and play guitar and something like that... maybe one day... might be possible...

well that raps up pretty much most of the crushes... be speaking to yous guys.... NEXT TIME~

1...My first crush~ (Ginni) part 1

2010-05-06T04:22:00.001-07:00

Did you ever experience this feeling. It did not come from anywhere at all... It just suddenly SMACK up on your face and then it starts.... love at first sight.. of course, in my situation, it wasn't first sight.. we were in the same class, so yeah.. it wasn't love at first sight.. hells no... IT WAS JUST SOME STUPID ARROW THAT JUST SO HAPPEN TO HIT ME BY THE EFFING HEART!!! How did this happen, you ask (whoever you are), well, let me start it at a new paragraph..

How bout i start with the cliche, "It was the summer of bla bla bla bla...."...... NAH! i'll start it the way i've always had... MY WAY!!

K, here's how it happen...

But before the story starts (I know you guys are thinking, "WTF man! JUST START IT ALREADY), i just want you guys to know that this story will be sad in a pathetic state and anti-climatic.... so yeah..

NOW the story begins.

Now, Ginni and I were never close to each other.. AT ALL, hells, i didn't even know her name before... EVEN THOUGH WE WERE CLASSMATES!! i didn't really paid much attention.. cause you know boys... girls are gross, violence is awesome.... superman and batman are both wearing underwear outside their suits.... yeah, i was a kid.... and this thing happened when i was 11... so yeah.. this is how it goes. My 5th grade Teacher, Mr. Ben, a buff aussie teacher who is my homeroom teacher, told us to make a story on our own. So, to gives us some tips, he asked some of the seniors from the high-school section of our school (Primary and Secondary were in different sections, so yeah) to show us some examples of a story. We were divided by two ppl with two seniors. Each senior has a story, so each student were selected randomly for the seniors. You know wat that means... you've guessed it, Ginni and I were both assigned to two seniors together.

It didn't happen right away, like i mentioned earlier. I know Ginni cause she was my classmate.. that was pretty much it. I don't know her. No b'day (not that i rmbr), no horoscope or sum shit.. just classmates is all... i still don't know her even now, and i will tell you why after this part...

Continuing on, Ginni and i were both assigned to these two senior. One was a slightly fat dude and the other was a girl... don't rmbr much on the appearance though. So, we said hi, talk about being a kid, then they started with their story. Mind you, my memory of that day was a bit foggy due to the point that it was a long time ago and i wasn't known for having a great memory.. of stuff... Continuing on, the girl told us her story. I think it was about the first day of school or sum shit. About how she was all nervous like and how at the end, she finally got used to the changes in life. After she was done, it was the fat dude's turn. At first, he didn't seem like the type to talk about love, but he did talked about it. He showed pictures of his character and his best friend, all friendly like until one day, his character fell for her. At first, the friend rejected him, cause she was afraid. Afraid that their relationship as friends would be ruin and stuff. But the story progress on, they both got closer, then he ended with the typical, children fairytale ending "They lived happily ever after".... I didn't notice it at first, but when the story ended, i was looking at Ginni... that was the moment i fell in love for her.... for the first time in my life....

WHOA!!!! HOLYMILF!!! THAT WAS LONG~ AND ONLY PART 1!!! ahahhhaahahhah, i talk a lot.. well, this was the first part of the story, the other part i will write another time. keep watch friends!

1,2,3,4....5?

2010-04-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone has someone they had a crush on. Whether it's your childhood friend.. ur friend's sister... some girl at school.. OR A FUCKIN CELEBRITY!!! but that does not erase the fact that that person is the one that makes ur heart BEAT like a speed-metal drummer, with each thump earning to be closer to the person.. Crushes hurt, that's why they call it a CRUSH!!!! GET IT! HAHAHA..... lame.... yeah, crushes hurt, and through out my whole life... there have been 4 girls that made my heart yearn to be close to them.... to be around them... and i will talk about them.... IN ANOTHER POST!! HAAHAAHAAAHAAHHA!!! You thought i would say it NOW!!! well, was planning to... BUT! I feel like this way is a lot more fun... SO STAY TUNE FOLKS! This random idiot will post it depending on his mode... oh and he will can post it best when he's in a bad mode....... LIKE SHIT MODE~

SAYOZZZ B's!!

My Smile shirt

2010-03-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

My Smile shirt is a shirt that is cursed with bad luck.... is the word irony... or is it weird?... The shirt itself says "SMILE" but the day bad me "FROWN".... SO why do i still wear the shirt despite the unluckiness that it brings to me on that certain day... cause it does make me smile.... not outside though, but inside...

Let me tell you how it works. The Smile shirt will give me bad luck through out the day... and at the end of the day, something really GOOD will happen to me and it made me smile.. A life lesson that i learn. An epiphany. An Answer.. The light!! My Smile shirt can also be called as.... THE EPIPHANY T~ or BAD LUCK GONE RIGHT T~ or FROWN , I'LL BE HAPPY AT THE END T~.... it is a unique shirt. It's like those special items or weapons or accessory in games which gives you awesome powers, but the cost is ur life or sumtin like that...

Something good happened today, as well as something bad... first the bad stuff... I lost sumtin important wit me... it's music and i lost it... it was terrible, but i'm over it now.. the outcome was when i was talking to a "special" friend of mine.. I told her wat was bugging and thanks to her, my void inside filled a bit. if ur reading this, THANK YOU EXTREMELY MUCH!!! ILUVYOU!!!

NOW MY FEET HURTS LIKE SHIT, MY ASS IS WARM LIKE FIRE! AND I NEED TO PRACTICE ME GUITAR!!!

SCREAM YOU HEART OUT!!!-Lost Prophet's Rooftops.

and all good things must come to an end

2010-03-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

AND JUST WHEN I WAS FEELING GOOD!!, WARM AND... GOOD!! KABLAMO! My sister came to me, on the edge of crying, to tell me that she needs to top up for an IMPORTANT CALL!!! but i made a promise to me bro that i won't talk back or shout at her. SHE REALLY NEEDS THIS PHONECALL!!! so i emptied out me wallet and SPIDY Bank (like a piggy bank, cept it was spider man) and found around RM1.20.. total... coinsss.. i gave it to me sister (who then looked disappointed at the meager amount) and walked away feeling like shit. now all my energy has been sapped away by anger and frustration... now off to play me guitar to let it all out. and if ur reading this yai, DO NOT TAKE ANY ACTIONS!!! UNDERSTAND!!! sigh~ fuck, back to the mood.

Another walk to remember~ (CORNY!!!)

2010-03-11T03:19:00.000-08:00

A Walk to Remember was a movie i heard about, but never remembered watching (irony much).. But the title itself is worth "to remember".. get it?

A bit after one of me friends went back home, me and me other mates got our bags and started walking to our destination. Because our paths were the same, we all walked together. It was a nice walk, something new about it, but at the same time, nostalgic~ I was walking too fast, so i started walking backwards to see me friends, but then Geena shouted at me "Walk forward man!". I comply. I started to walk slower though. I walked behind Geena and one of me former classmates Syed (i call him this name cause i don't wanna confuse it with another name cause his name is Syed Arif, i decided to call him Syed, though i still call him Arif) and walked with me other former classmates, Rahim (used to be the same class during my first year at school) and Nadiz (from form 1 till 3). All these three guys were once classmates of mine. I started reminiscing about how long it was when we first met. When i met Syed, i was quiet and he was too. He sat next to me and i didn't say much. Then i accidentally stole his "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" novel. It didn't occurred to me until i saw his name on the book. I was like "OH SHIT!" and ended up not telling him. Think he already knows though. Then i started knowing him better when he became friends wit Nadiz and Ariff (this is the other Ariff i was talking about) and yeah... knew him better, he's a footballer with a sense of humor and a skilled guitarist. Yup, that pretty sums it up.

But WHOA! that was a bit off topic now, wasn't that? I did wrote "walk to remember" as the title, but not "Walk to remember about every single detail about this certain person"!

SO back to the topic, i started walking with me mates. 3 three guys and a girl plus myself, would be 4 guys and a girl. 3 of em used to be me former classmates and one of em is my mate. Walking with them, i then looked at Rahim and said "MAN! You've changed since the last time i walked with you in standard 6!" then Nadiz said (in BM, but i translated it to english) "Now you say it".... then Rahim, Nadiz and I started snickering off until we reached our split. I said goodbye to them as they head off to the tracks and i walked alone to the train station.

This post is called WALK TO REMEMBER cause i walked and started remembering about the past. All the simple, trivial things that happened when i was with these guys. It felt different, but at the same time... nostalgic and warm.. i was glad i met you guys. MOSTLY glad that i stayed back!

IT FINALLY CAME OUT!!! NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW IT!!

2010-03-06T02:14:00.000-08:00

HIIIYYAAAAZZZ!!! PEEPS!!!!

IT FINALLY CAME OUT!!!!!!!! ONE OF THE MOST INFAMOUS MUSICAL MOVIE IS NOW A MANGA (jap term for comic. Mahwa is korean)!!! IT's THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL MANGA!!! Don't beleive me, check out this url, http://www.mangafox.com/manga/high_school_musical/, and be amaze at the quickness of the drawing cause it's SHOUJO!! (meaning girl comics.. a girls type of comic book that is targeted to female audience)!!!

AND

today just ran the EFFFING CROSS COUNTRY RUNNING THINGY AND IT'S A LOT FASTER THAN THAT OF LAST YEAR... since some of em assess didn't show up. well alls well, ends well. We won the battle (BLUE HOUSE GOT 1st in CROSS COUNTRY! YEAH!) but we haven't won the war (BLUE HOUSE IS THIRD PLACE!! BOOOO!!!!). So we're not givin up still we won!! or lost.. either ways. P.S. yellow house is last. my friend's team is last.. i give her me sympathy, whether u like it or not.

AND ALSO

You kno my last post about APES. Well, the story will be told through the youngest character's eyes, RAY YAGAMI!! Joe ZAMORA's (the detective... the HOT detective.. this character is a target audience for girls) apprentice who will help Joe through thick and thin!!

P.S.

I'M HOME ALONE!! or atleast i think i am... not sure yet but i definitely human presence around me.

AIT, that all folks

And SO BEGINS ANOTHER TALe

2010-03-02T05:49:00.000-08:00

Salutations non-believers, i may not know who you are, but the same could be said for all of you out there, reading this blog about a random idiot spouting random nonsense in his blog. Well, it's true i spout out nonsense from time to time (take my fellow comrade Shadow, she is an expert at random nonsense. A true recommendation for her blog if u wanna find something to kill time). I also write things, moments, trivial things that had happened in my life. Well, i still do. Because this is counted as a post, and that's what blogs do. Just something to write about when your in the mood or something like that. Do you notice the "ropes" i set up to check out other blogs? One of em is the inspiring awesomeness (awesomeness is a real word? cool) of my friend, Shadow the random artist. I call her Shadow instead of her other name, which i won't mention, for unnecessary reasons, for that is what she was called before. Because Shadow is an AWESOME NAME!!! Is it not? i mean look at this picture!

ITS AWESOME!! You can't see the guy and that's the way she wants it. Unknown but known to all. If your seeing the picture, you know what I'm talking about, unless there is no picture, it's just a picture of a shadow of a guy on a horse. But I'm just side-tracking right now. The title of this post is AND SO BEGINS ANOTHER TALE, and that is what I'm gonna do. Begin another tale. Not about my life. Not my friends. But a new and different tale. One for the books. This tale is called, "Fucked in the face".. HHAHAHA no, joking joking. A bit matured and rude wasn't that? ok the real title is called "APES". Don't be fooled. That title is short for "Awesome Private EyeS". Of course, it's not really private EyeS but private I's or investigators. And this is a story about 3, very different, very dark, characters. Think you've heard these three already? How about if i were to say one is a normal PI, one is a mutated worm that can change it's body size and is able to speak 10 different languages and one is a teenager trained to kill. Not exciting enough? How about i just say the PI was hot? Would that get your attention? Well now, since i just talked about the story, i hope i can continue it, with the guidance of my friends and family. Hopefully my school as well. ALL RIGHTY THEN!!! time to wraps this shit up. haha, THIS and SHIT both contain the same letters... HAHHA... ANYWAY, this would be the time i just shut up and finish up my post.

pleasant reading!

Eve for now, Chirstmas later..

2009-12-24T05:04:00.000-08:00

Wonderful! It's just hours b4 Christmas! So i just wanna wish you guys a Merry Christmas to all!!

I would like to reminisce on how much we've been together for all these years and stuff.. Yeah, not much to blog about now.

I just wanna say merry christmas to everyone and happy Hanukkah to the jew friends that's reading this blog... maybe be boring, but it's filled with love and warmness.. cause there's a picture of a fireplace...HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Joking... Well, Merry Christmas And Happy Hanukkah My friendssss!!!!

Sigh

2009-12-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

Sigh~ big whoop if u kno wat i mean...

Christmas is just around the corner, but like most Christmases in my life, i spent it alone..

my life is just gettin more and more complicated everytime... I currently don't have a phone thanks to my sister.
and the bills, books, school and friends.. yeah i said friends...
it's all always a fuckin pleasure to hang out with friends, but i'm not myself when i'm around them... fuck, i'm not myself when i'm around everyone... family included.. I spent my times just surfing the web and finding actions, personalities to copy and paste it in my everyday conversations with my friends. It's the truth. The only real time i am myself is when i am by myself... make sense, no. The friends i hang out with, all special in their own way, i can just feel, deep within me, just started to get annoying.. but who am i to say.. I'm annoying myself. What i don't understand is, why i can't be myself when i'm amongst others... and then i do understand. It's cause i don't want to be myself around others.

Who the hell am i? I'm me at the same time i'm not.. i'm me when i copy others then i'm not me. I try to create this image, an image of individuality and such and end up forgetting my real self, which is not true.. i never forget myself.

I'm me when i try not to be.
phew.. that's a lot to write...
This is just an identity crisis, no biggy. You guys there, have fun.. this is just the random outburst of a teenager...

And Now A picture of a butterfly.

Random man, i is..

3rd Day of Holidayzzzzz... f***

2009-11-22T23:01:00.001-08:00

It is the third day of the holidays and all i did was spent time playing Runescape and watching anime... I seriously need to get a hobby... which i already have but my lazy angel told me to just stay lazy and stuff.... i need to find ppl to hangout with...

Wanting to so buy the xbox360.. SO VERY MUCH.... i explain to me bros that we would start collecting next month, but hopefully no complications till then...

No call from that Kinokunya person.. i'm getting worried that i might not get it and then i hv to find something else to do to finish up my time... But i definitely won't spend it on homework..

Sigh....

I reeeaaally need to go out more... maybe meet some new ppl....HAHHAHA, like that would ever happen..

anyways, i least i already thought of certain ideas for my book (that has been around for soooooo long) so yeah.. updated and stuff... holidays and cerios...

I Sit

2009-11-21T05:14:00.000-08:00

This was a poem i had simply written when i went out yesterday...

I Sit Here
Wishing you guys were here
Laughing at marvel comics and
Constantly Talking gibrish as i sat down

I sit here
Reminiscing our outing at the end of school last year
When we got kicked out of school,
My friend confessed to the girl he liked (but was rejected).
Playing DOTA to past the time till school ended.

I Sit Here
With my bag and Guitar(Pastullio)
Enjoying myself with an iced caramel machiato,
writing on a book that resembles my friend's pencil box
With a green pen.

Hey kids

2009-11-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

Hey kids, u might wonder wat happened to me, well for those who don't know heres my summary

My school ended and i might get a part-time job

there.

Stay on folks, i have too much free time now that i might start writing more and more..

Adieu, i write later

So far, the biggest fight i went through

2009-07-03T05:36:00.001-07:00

This was the biggest fight i have, so far, fought....

I thought it wouldn't happen again, but it did...
I slightly choked on food......

This thing happened moments ago..

I was just minding my own business, watching a fav series of mine called "how i met your mother" (truly Awesome... to those who watched this show, it is awesome).... when suddenly.. IT happened...

During this time, i would be in the room watching tv or some shenanigans like that, but since there was no one using the pc, i thought i might as well on it and chat with friends and crap like that...
I was getting hungry and noticed there were some food that my uncle bought for dinner. Since it was dinnertime and there wasn't anything to watched on tv (that's a lie), i decided to watched How i met your Mother (AWESOMENESSSS) on the pc.
As i was watching the series, something happened...
Now, before this, i used to not like fish. Because of the very spiky thin bones, i always avoided eatin till i got over it like last year.. now it comes back to haunt me.......

Anyway, just as the scene when Barney jumped on the car to discovered that the person who ruined his 1-night stands was Abby (acted by Britney Spears, Season 3, episode 19, "Everything Must Go"), the spiky bone which i hv accidentally at chocked me.
It was sharp and pointy in which i had a fantasy that it would pierce something inside of me and would have stayed there for couple of weeks, where i have to endure the spiky, pointy, painful hell...
So i acted quickly. I thought if i drank some water, it will flip and i can swallow it without any harm done (yet), but i was wrong cause the first thing i actually thought about was to take it out with my fingers. I thought that plan would work, but i felt like puking and didn't want to make a mess, so i pulled back. I drank some water after that, but i had to spit it out because i tried to do that fingering technique (for those with "unpleasant" minds, im not talking about "that") again. So i tried drinking until it flipped, then i quickly swallowed down the bone and hoped that it is acidified by now. This experience bring back the trauma of when i was eating a beef jerky sandwich (I think) i choked on the jerky and thought i was gonna die, so i quickly throw it our without making a mess. I was able to do that and threw it away.

I thought it was over... but it came back...

Now, i will not eat fish for a couple of months.....

Like, love or Crush? Most likely crush..

2009-06-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

NOOOOO!!!!!

IT happpened again!!!
I have another crush! but not on a fellow student or some girl...

It's something more bigger, more popular and more famous!!
Something like my friend's obsession with Jason Mraz, i fell for the
wait for it...
ONE AND ONLY, TEEN POP IDOL/ACTRESS AND STAR OF HER OWN SHOW.....
(drum roll)
MISS MILEY CYRUS!!!

What is not to like about her (well there are reasons), she's hot, she's pretty, she's pretty hot!!(hahaha), she can sing, dance, write her own songs.......and she is funny!!

Damn! is this love? no it's lesser than that... Like? more than that.... it's a crush and i'm gonnna try to overcome this crush!!

My plan, get famous really quickly by creating good short stories and creating good songs to make my name well known.....

Not really realistic, but i'll try no matter what! When there's a will, there's a way!

Just hope i can keep up and all that......

Hello, i'm back

2009-06-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

Has the holidays just finishing now...
wow, who would of thought. time moves so fast.

I didn't do much during these past two weeks.
I went out
I stayed at home
Played game
Read books
Exercise (a bit)
Cut my hair(a bit)
Had an epiphany
talk a bit to a crush( about minor stuff)
games, games and watched almost the whole 1st and 2nd season of Chuck (highly recommend to watch) and the 2nd and 3rd season of Physch (also highly recommend).
Plus, watch a whole lot of tv which may have hurt my eyes.... alot..

These past two weeks may not be the most eventful one, but a little change has occurred inside me, in both mind and heart.... but it will only end up hurting my head if i go on like that.

The will be change in me and it might be hard to find them, but you'll see (whomever i'm talking about), change is something you will see....

Hello, i write as i will greet all my friends tomorrow and to my school.

I'm back..

long time no post

2009-05-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

long time i havent posted a blog yet......
for that, i is being sorry to ones who knows me and thought that it is a waste.

A few things happen to me up till now.

Actually, i can only remember some.

1st, on me school's sports day, i confess to a girl i like. Sad part is that i sms her and she didnt reply back..
Sad ain't it. When i got back to school, it felt like nothing really happened between us. Ah well, that's the mistake i made for not telling her face to face.

2nd, i now know that i have been wasting my time playing too much games and stuff..
My grandma, 3 brothers and eldest sister already told me the same thing over and over again. now, i will try to change from time to time.

3rd, im currently learning Keysi Fighting Method (KFM) because my gym teacher told me about it and wanted to introduce it to my school. For that to happen, i contact with one of the ex-student from my school.

4th, i am feeling lonelier (or Emo) these days. Not really sure why. Probably been just feeling left out or i've been spending tooooo much time with myself.

5th, i write this now cause a friend of mine, (u kno who u r) told me (if i can remember correctly, and i have a bad memory) that when u have a blog, write something on it, even if it is crap.... well, i think that is wat that "friend" said.

well that's is enough...

oh, now i remember, writing this blog will show how you truly feel. I think that's what my friend said.

well, that is really enough...

Thank you for reading this blog

Wait for a day, a week, or maybe a month for the next.

Please Check this place.

2009-01-15T09:03:00.001-08:00

I just started writing a book

please go to this website if interested....

qirtsfalonazmi-sc.blogspot.com

Please and Thank You

Hi and why?

2009-01-13T09:15:00.003-08:00

Hello fellow Bloggers!!!

names Q and im new around here. this is my first blog but i want everyone's comment to be

150% honest....

that was my "Hi". Now is my "Why"

Course this may be my first time, but there is a question in my head that keeps poking me to tell.

This is a question to all you bloggers there.
Why do you blog?

I mean, course it helps release somewhat ur "feelings", things that disturbs u, things that makes you happy, things that make u sad, "things".....

why write ur experience and ur secrets to strangers and friends? of course no one writes their secrets. who would. but it just a question. and im sorry if it sounds kinda like a rant or sumtin.....

But why do you blog?