It has finally happened. I have graduated from my college.
That's right, folks, I'm officially out of the studying scene and on to the real world....and that's the problem here.
I mean, yeah, congratulations me, but after the rented robes are given back and I take home my empty scroll case, all I'll go back to is what I was a couple of months back. Empty. Well, empty with a job at least.
But now that I have graduated, I'm back to thinking about my future, on what I should do now. I got a job, sure, and that's awesome, truly, but....is this what I plan to do? Because this job of mine has only 2 purposes; to provide a form of income and to avoid rotting home. But the hidden agenda behind that is; I am simply abiding my time.
I've written a lot of "I don't know what to do with my life" posts before, all coming to the conclusion I have a passion for something, I'm just not sure on what. I always say that I got a dozen choices to choose from, where I simply just need to act on it. However, as simple as it sounds, it is anything but simple.
This is my life I'm planning. I know I don't need to plan like the whole 40 yards plus plus, but I dont' even know what I plan to do. Yes, I can refer back to my posts, see the idea I gave myself and maybe I'll act on it. MAYBE. See, the thing is, I'm still pretty indecisive, still using the word "maybe" for most of my decision. I can be one-track on things, but the fact of the matter is that I can't or won't bring myself to jump on the first train to opportunity. I remain sceptic on my decisions; my choices in life. It does not help me knowing that I'll soon be forgotten in the years to come, left nothing but bones and dust.
(Sigh) It complicates my thought process if I am unable to determine the simple things in life. The questions of yes or no brings me to further question the answer behind it. I can't simply say yes or no about anything on the topic of my life. Should I further my studies? Am I able to? Would it help me? Okay, those questions may be a wee bit complicated. But those are just the yes or no questions, how about the subjective?.....I can't really think of one at the moment, though. Lot's of my questions goes along the lines of "Will the decision to further my studies allow me to foresee what I plan to do with my life?" or "How can I financially support my studies? (that's subjective there)....
Shit, I don't know any more. I mean, here I am, blogging at a cyber cafe near my neighbourhood (it's the nice one and not as packed as the one I usually go to) and thinking about life matters around guys who simply want to fool around on the pcs, paying 2-5 bucks at 3am in the morning.
See, there, right there, this is what worries me. Am I like these guys? Well, I'm being unfair her and totally bias, but the general idea is that..will I remain..well..me?
After all, I'm still me, and that's a good thing..right? Wait, don't answer that (not that you would\could). What should I do, hmm? What is my passion? Writing, yeah sure, I love to write. I love to write like this. Blogs. Opinions. But I lack on information most of the times.
I also like cartoons. Well, watching them anyway. And I always get ideas for stories, but the plots remain....unstable.
Take cartoon, writing and blogs together... what do I get? A webtoon writer? A reviewer? Well, that's a start there. Reviewing. It's something my brothers have been telling me over and over again. Why not start reviewing? Sure, I will get things wrong, I'll be incredibly bias...but it will still get me a rep. And with reputation, comes recognition and recognition, comes offers. Well, not that simple, but the idea is there.
So, start writing about stuff online, make it a routine and slowly, but surely, find my path in life? Worth of a try. It's not like I got anything to lose.
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