I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself "who is this man standing in front of me", no, better yet, "who am I?"...
The question i asked myself... about myself.. i know the answer. i know what to say and why... the only thing i could never go through is how... How.. Actually, that's not the real problem.. It's not how i say, it's more like, whether i could accept it or not..
For A LOOOONG time, i've been trying to find who i am... shouldn't i be happy for who i am now? I'm teenager.. I got friends, no parents (cept me step-mom), 3 brothers and a sister, 3 uncles and 2 aunts plus 1 grandma... I like games, books (fiction and psychology) and music... I'm interested in women and i'm willing to help a friend, despite the consequences (not exactly smart)..
I got mostly everything i need... but what more is there? Even with all this information about myself, i still wake up and look at the mirror, wondering who i am.. I'm not faking anything.. I'm me all the time.. what which part of me is real? The me at school... the me at home...
I have never found anything that tells me, "This is where i should be.. This was why i was born..."
but many people have not found that either... that "feeling" is what i like to call it...
Most of the times.. i just lay awake, telling myself if i'm even alive.. but never bothered to answer.. those type of questions just hurts my head to the point of me throwing up (sorry to say)..
"Sigh" was one of the only post which showed the real me... angry.. sad.. frustrated yet grateful.. happy... glad.. All of which molded into one teenager's rambling about his friends and family..
This is all boring, i know, i would get bored of this myself.. But it just gotta get out, y'kno? You just gotta that something out before it gets the best of you... I talk a lot and i know i can, but i can't cause i won't.. my tongue, i hold, before i speak because i can't speak well.. my voice can't be heard properly (just ask my friends).. but that never stopped me from trying..
I don't know what this post is about or what i'm trying to say, but all this is just something i want to say... I might know what this post about actually, and i might know what i'm trying to say, but i don't... not at the moment.. This post's title is Mirror.. so that could only mean i'm talking about something related to a mirror.. Ask yourself, just once, Who is that person in the mirror.... and Why?
I could already predict a certain friend of mine's answer, which is "I'm me, because i am"... that girl is an independent women, at the same time she's a child.. It's a paradox, but that why i love her (as a friend, no romantic feelings involve, thank you very much.. please don't misunderstand)... but i'm no psychic, so i don't REALLY know what she would say.. just ask yourself...
Who are you? And Why?
Showing posts with label FRIENDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FRIENDS. Show all posts
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Another walk to remember~ (CORNY!!!)
A Walk to Remember was a movie i heard about, but never remembered watching (irony much).. But the title itself is worth "to remember".. get it?
A bit after one of me friends went back home, me and me other mates got our bags and started walking to our destination. Because our paths were the same, we all walked together. It was a nice walk, something new about it, but at the same time, nostalgic~ I was walking too fast, so i started walking backwards to see me friends, but then Geena shouted at me "Walk forward man!". I comply. I started to walk slower though. I walked behind Geena and one of me former classmates Syed (i call him this name cause i don't wanna confuse it with another name cause his name is Syed Arif, i decided to call him Syed, though i still call him Arif) and walked with me other former classmates, Rahim (used to be the same class during my first year at school) and Nadiz (from form 1 till 3). All these three guys were once classmates of mine. I started reminiscing about how long it was when we first met. When i met Syed, i was quiet and he was too. He sat next to me and i didn't say much. Then i accidentally stole his "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" novel. It didn't occurred to me until i saw his name on the book. I was like "OH SHIT!" and ended up not telling him. Think he already knows though. Then i started knowing him better when he became friends wit Nadiz and Ariff (this is the other Ariff i was talking about) and yeah... knew him better, he's a footballer with a sense of humor and a skilled guitarist. Yup, that pretty sums it up.
But WHOA! that was a bit off topic now, wasn't that? I did wrote "walk to remember" as the title, but not "Walk to remember about every single detail about this certain person"!
SO back to the topic, i started walking with me mates. 3 three guys and a girl plus myself, would be 4 guys and a girl. 3 of em used to be me former classmates and one of em is my mate. Walking with them, i then looked at Rahim and said "MAN! You've changed since the last time i walked with you in standard 6!" then Nadiz said (in BM, but i translated it to english) "Now you say it".... then Rahim, Nadiz and I started snickering off until we reached our split. I said goodbye to them as they head off to the tracks and i walked alone to the train station.
This post is called WALK TO REMEMBER cause i walked and started remembering about the past. All the simple, trivial things that happened when i was with these guys. It felt different, but at the same time... nostalgic and warm.. i was glad i met you guys. MOSTLY glad that i stayed back!
A bit after one of me friends went back home, me and me other mates got our bags and started walking to our destination. Because our paths were the same, we all walked together. It was a nice walk, something new about it, but at the same time, nostalgic~ I was walking too fast, so i started walking backwards to see me friends, but then Geena shouted at me "Walk forward man!". I comply. I started to walk slower though. I walked behind Geena and one of me former classmates Syed (i call him this name cause i don't wanna confuse it with another name cause his name is Syed Arif, i decided to call him Syed, though i still call him Arif) and walked with me other former classmates, Rahim (used to be the same class during my first year at school) and Nadiz (from form 1 till 3). All these three guys were once classmates of mine. I started reminiscing about how long it was when we first met. When i met Syed, i was quiet and he was too. He sat next to me and i didn't say much. Then i accidentally stole his "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" novel. It didn't occurred to me until i saw his name on the book. I was like "OH SHIT!" and ended up not telling him. Think he already knows though. Then i started knowing him better when he became friends wit Nadiz and Ariff (this is the other Ariff i was talking about) and yeah... knew him better, he's a footballer with a sense of humor and a skilled guitarist. Yup, that pretty sums it up.
But WHOA! that was a bit off topic now, wasn't that? I did wrote "walk to remember" as the title, but not "Walk to remember about every single detail about this certain person"!
SO back to the topic, i started walking with me mates. 3 three guys and a girl plus myself, would be 4 guys and a girl. 3 of em used to be me former classmates and one of em is my mate. Walking with them, i then looked at Rahim and said "MAN! You've changed since the last time i walked with you in standard 6!" then Nadiz said (in BM, but i translated it to english) "Now you say it".... then Rahim, Nadiz and I started snickering off until we reached our split. I said goodbye to them as they head off to the tracks and i walked alone to the train station.
This post is called WALK TO REMEMBER cause i walked and started remembering about the past. All the simple, trivial things that happened when i was with these guys. It felt different, but at the same time... nostalgic and warm.. i was glad i met you guys. MOSTLY glad that i stayed back!
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